OH MY GOSH I'M PREGNANT?!

The morning of Jan 22nd, I got straight out of bed and took the test. I had a feeling I was. I just knew. But I still wasn't going to believe myself until I saw proof. Instead of waiting the three minutes for the result, I did a no-no... I peeked. And saw a little blue plus sign. I immediately had so much adrenaline rushing through me that I burst out of our bathroom and jumped back into bed, shaking so bad that Chris asked me what was wrong. I told him I was just really nervous to see the result. I felt bad for knowing before he did! And I also wasn't sure if the test started out positive and then turned negative or what, so I didn't want to say anything just in case.

Three minutes later, I told Chris to go look. I was so shocked that I couldn't look again. Was I really pregnant?!!!! What was I supposed to do?!!!!!! I was terrified of being pregnant, I always had been. I had always wanted to adopt because being pregnant and being in labor was one of my biggest fears. All this was going through my mind as Chris walked over to the test and studied it. Then he said, "What symbol is it supposed to be if you are pregnant?" Of course. He's a dude. He wouldn't notice the print ON THE TEST that says (+)=pregnant, (-)= not pregnant. Now I'm nearly frantic to know the answer for sure. JUST TELL ME WHAT THE STUPID THING SAYS!!!! So I asked if it had a plus or a minus sign. He waited for a minute, then said. "It's a plus".

All of a sudden I NEEDED to see that test again. To make sure he wasn't teasing me. I grabbed it and sure enough, a plus. A plus. PLUS. (+)= PREGNANT. And my mind went blank. I think Chris' did too. I just kept saying "oh my gosh, oh my gosh" a hundred times, until I came back to real life. Then Chris started talking about telling our families. WHAT? NO! It was too early! We'd only taken one test! My mom hates it when people tell her they are pregnant before they are through their first 3 months, because otherwise it just takes too long for the baby to get there! We hadn't even been to the doctor! What if the test was faulty, for heaven's sake. The test! Take the other test! So I took the other test. Positive again. I am proud to say that those are the only two tests I took. :)

Chris refused to wait to tell our parents, and so a few hours later we were in my driveway. I was hating myself. I did not want to be pregnant so soon. I did not want to be here at my parents telling them this. I knew what my parents would feel, and of course they would be right. We had no money for a baby, we weren't prepared for a baby, we didn't have room for a baby. What would we do? And then we were in the front door. I talked to my parents for a few and then Chris and me went upstairs where we could be alone for a minute, because I just couldn't do it. I knew exactly how my mom would react. I knew what my dad would feel, but I wasn't entirely sure how he would react. Why couldn't we just wait?! But I couldn't, because Chris was determined to tell his parents that day, and since our parents are neighbors, they talk a lot. What one knows, the other knows by the next week.

The pic is my whole family, taken a few years ago. 


Then my sister came upstairs. She would be 17 for a few more months. We told her that we had something to say, but she couldn't freak out or scream or anything (she's a pretty loud kid ha ha). So I told her she was going to be an aunt. True to character, she screamed. Thankfully it was in a whisper. At least someone was happy. It gave me the courage to go downstairs and tell my parents. I stood around awkwardly for a second, trying to figure out how to say it. Finally I just said "We have something to tell you", which of course got their attention. And then I told them they were going to be grandparents. I could tell my dad had a million thoughts running through his mind, but he managed a hug and a congratulations. I was very grateful for that. My mom was more reserved, I know she wanted to get all her worries out and I know that me being pregnant was very stressful for her, because of the situation we were in. But she kept it in for the time, for which I was also very grateful. She just went upstairs for a minute and then moved on to other things. I took it as a good sign, because this is what she does when she wants to think before she speaks, or when she doesn't feel prepared to face something. I was scared she was going to be disappointed in me. Not for being pregnant, she LOVES babies. But for not being responsible enough to wait until a time when we would be prepared for this. She was right of, course. She is always right! I know they were excited too, but they are very down to earth and so their minds immediately moved from "wow, we are going to be grandparents" to "how is our daughter going to be able to do this?" After a little bit she gave me a hug too, and I could tell how worried she was, so I decided it was time to go and leave her in peace for awhile. My parents love me so much! They are amazing. My brother (he'd turn 14 in a month) acted like he was too cool to care. But he did. You will see that, later. :) My other brother, who was nearly 20, was (and is) on a mission, so he would find out later.

Next, we moved on to Chris' parents. I had no idea what to expect with them. Luckily, Chris' sister (we'll call her L) was there, with her son (we'll call him G) who was a few months old. She would be excited just like my sister. And she was! We all were downstairs when I told them that G was going to have a cousin. L was happy, and Chris' parents I think were a little shocked but they hid it well. I remember talking about all the stupid names we'd come up with earlier that day, just to break the ice a little because I was feeling rather awkward. L was very nice to me. By that time I was so tired from the day's events that I don't remember what happened after that or what else was said. I just remember how excited Chris was to be a father.