recipe changes

So my mom and me played around with the wassail recipe that I posted last time. We discovered that if you leave out the lemonade, substitute apple juice for the cider, and instead of 1 cup sugar, do 1/2 cup sugar and 1/2 brown sugar, and add twice the amount of whole spices, it tastes super good! As in, I like it more than the original one! Just a thought. :)

Decisions

This post is a little repetitive from one of my previous posts. Bear with me :)
After I realized how stubborn I was being, I started thinking about what needed to happen. I needed to have a better attitude. I needed to have more compassion for certain people and not be so judgemental.

              Try a little harder, to be a little better. 

I wanted my baby to have a father. I wanted my baby to have the opportunities of being in my church. Most of all, I did not want to lose my baby. My stress level was so high I knew that I could possibly cause damage to my little baby. I would go to my parent's or cousin's if I had to, and leave Chris with C.S.

I felt this baby was more important than any wants or dreams of mine. Chris and me started talking about divorce. He wanted it, I didn't. I was really angry at myself for not being a better wife. I was angry at Chris for not caring anymore. It was like he was gone. He came home from work every night and I never felt like he was there with me. Most likely he probably felt the same way with me. And yet I still wanted it to work. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

On March 7th I was 13 weeks, and my clothes were getting tighter! Everything with the baby was going great, and even though I had awful morning sickness, it didn't bother me. I was too excited to care about all the gross pregnancy stuff.

I stayed in my room all day because of my morning sickness. Our apartment stunk SO BAD because M&E never cleaned anything, and I could only handle being out of the bedroom just long enough to grab a day's supply of food and run back to my room. It was kind of a blessing in disguise though, because the sicker I was, the more they would leave me alone... plus it gave me an excuse to watch tv all day! Sometimes I can be pretty lazy. :)

Things got better between Chris and me. I have no idea why, but at the time I thought maybe it was the baby that was turning things around. Chris loved to try and feel him, even though he wasn't big enough yet. I was glad for the peace and quiet between us, but I still couldn't help but feel that this baby didn't belong to me, and that God had something special in mind for him.

We needed some extra income, so I found a job pretty quickly working at an Arby's. I do love Arby's.

I loved my first day and my manager was AWESOME. I thought maybe this was the time that my anxiety wouldn't get the best of me, and I'd actually be able to keep a job.

Things were looking up, and yet for some reason unkown to me, I found myself browsing through adoptive couple profiles on a church website (http://www.itsaboutlove.org/).

14 weeks. He looks like he is trying to suck his thumb... even though that isn't really possible yet.

Recipe for:

WASSAIL

1 quart water

1 tsp whole allspice

1 large can frozen orange juice

3-5 sticks whole cinnamon

1/2-1 can frozen lemonade

1/8 tsp ground ginger

2 quarts apple cider

5 whole cloves

In a large saucepan, mix water, sugar, cinnamon, ginger, cloves and allspice. Boil 10 minutes. Remove spices. Add remaining ingredients and bring to a simmer. Drink hot!

 TIPS: you can put the cloves, cinnamon, and allspice into cheesecloth or use a strainer to get them out of the drink. Also, I like the spices so I always add a little extra of everything to make it not so drab :)